"Still I wonder why it is...I don't argue like this with anyone but you.../ we do it all the time, blowing out my mind"

Maybe it's time to let go. Let go of everything that I thought I knew because it doesn't seem like holding on has helped me much in the last two years. What do I have to show for it? Besides the fractures in my heart, and the scars on my pride.

I guess that's something to show for it. Out of the ugliest flower, there has got to be some beauty. Right? Or am I just trying to be optimistic?

Anyways- I have just been going through the days really. Watching the hours pass through the huge windows of the Tower where I work. I can see the entire city, in all its urbanite glory from the 16th floor. And as I pass through the hallways, the executives leave their office doors wide open, as if to beckon me to forget about that daily report or that spreadsheet that is due by noon, and to jusdt feast my eyesight on the comings and goings of a city buried beneath a mask of fog and rain.

From that high up, the rain doesn't look so dismal and frightening. It doesn't seem to cling and leer over your skin and body as it does when you're at ground level and you can no longer see the fingers on your hand in front of you. Ernesto must be angry at Mother Nature for disturbing his sleep but only in the toddler grumpiness that erupts with a tempered sigh and a fold of the arms in defiance. Ernesto doesn't seem to want to wreck too much havoc for the East. Just a slight temper tantrum with a flood of tears, and his wails blowing in the gusts of wind.

I should have worn more comfortable shoes today. I have the beginnings of blisters on my feet, and the throbbing of pain in other spots that are threatening to become blisters if I so dare choose to wear the same stupid shoes again tomorrow. I don't fall twice to the same demise.

Love you guys. Hope all is well. Stay dry in the next couple days and hope the weekend clears. Shout out to my four-trees, three of which I hope stay firm and sway with the life that is within them. Don't get into too much trouble this weekend (although that's what bachelor parties are all about, right?) and remember, the less pictures, the less evidence later. sarang he, D- chingu-ae.